Sociopathic inclinations

Everything is so fucked up, and I am goin to right in fuckin english cause I want to. This sucks, I don't really know why I'm doing this...I had a blog once, but I was like 13 years old, haven't change much, maybe a little more hate, a lot more hate. People suck, don't know why, can't understand, can't comprehend, they just suck, but it's kind of (totally) impossible that everybody must suck, I just can't believe that, though I really want to (and most ppl that I know force me to). Every day I wake up sad, cause I don't wanna wake up, then I don't eat, cause I don't feel like to, then I drown in books, then I paint, after that I can breathe a lil' seems like I feel a lil' bit less bad, but it ends.

Everything ends. My life is a mess, but whose life isn't? The worst is that I don't want it to be, I was never happy, no. I was, but just for maybe 4 months, 2 days..? I don't know, but it was really short and punctual, and lost. I try not to forget, but it's just so not much. I hate that. I wanna know why, it ain't fair, for most people (though I hate everyone) lol, i'm lost probably..I try I really try, I'm not saying that to make me feel better, when I try is because I want to, I don't give up, that's my problem, maybe I should. Maybe everyone else should too, but I cannot do a thing bout everyone else, so lost...

Yes, the title, yes, i'm getting crazy, columbine is starting to make sense lol, no i'm not gonna do that but sometimes...lolz, not that! all that! but there are some ppl i would like to. no regret at all.